How can you tell a smart blonde from a dumb blonde....the smart blondes have dark roots.

Why don't blondes eat pickles...because they get their heads stuck in the jar.

Why does the blonde wear underclothes...to keep her ankles warm.

Why did the blonde get fired from the M & M factory...she threw out all of the W's.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday...tell her a joke on Friday.

What do you call a zit on a blonde's butt...brain tumor.

Why don't blondes make kool-aid...can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packages.

What do you call a blonde with half a brain...gifted.

Why do blondes have T.G.I.F. printed on their shoes...stands for "toes go in first".

How many blondes does it take to change a tire...5--2 to get sodas, 2 to cry and 1 to call daddy.

How do you kill a blonde...put spikes in her shoulder pads.

How do you give a blonde a brain transplant...blow in her ear.

What do blondes and beer bottles have in common...they're both empty from the neck up.

Why did the blonde cross the road...never mind that, what's she doing out of the bedroom?

What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear...thanks for the refill.

What's the mating call of a brunette...Is that darn blonde gone yet?

Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink...that's where you wash vegetables.

How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle...shine a light in her ear.

What's the advantage of being married to a blonde...you can park in handicapped zones.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you...pull the pin and throw it back.

What's the mating call of a blonde...I think I'm drunk.

How does a blonde turn on the lights after sex...opens the car door.

Why does a blonde have fur on the hem of her dress...to keep her neck warm.

Why did the blonde have square boobs...she forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall...to see what was on the other side.

What do blondes and cow pies have in common...the older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb...6 - 2 to read the instructions, 1 to find the switch, 2 to stand on, 1 to screw the bulb.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb...two...one to hold the diet pepsi and one to call daaaady.

The blonde stayed up all night to see where the sun went...it finally dawned on her.

How did the blonde commit suicide...she dyed by her own hand.

Brunette to the blonde...Awww, look at the dead birdie...the blonde stopped, looks up and says, "where"?

How do you know a blonde has been working at your computer...there is "white-out" all over the screen.

How can you tell if another blonde been using the computer ...there's writing on the "white-out".

Why do blondes wear ear muffs?...to avoid the draft.

What's the mating call of the blonde..."I'm soooo drunk"

What did the blonde visiting O.J. think this was...spilled finger nail polish.

What's the mating call of the ugly blonde...(screaming) " I'm drunk]"

What's the mating call of the brunette?...all the blonds have gone home.

What is the blonde doing when she hold her hands over her ears...trying to hold on to a thought.

Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?...because it said "concentrate".

Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet...she thought it was diet coke.

Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering...the noise gave her a headache.

Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips...from trying to blow out lightbulbs.

Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar...she heard that the drinks were on the house.

Why don't blondes have elevator jobs...they don't know the route.

Why does blondes have elevator jobs...they like going up and down.

Why do blondes work seven days a week...so you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

What is the first thing a blonde learns when she takes driving lessons...you can also sit upright in a car.

A BLONDE GOES INTO A WORLD WIDE MESSAGE CENTER TO SEND A MESSAGE TO HER MOTHER IN POLAND. WHEN THE MAN TELLS HER IT WILL BE $300, SHE EXCLAIMS.."I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.. BUT I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO GET A MESSAGE TO MY MOTHER IN POLAND!" TO THAT THE MAN ASKS "ANYTHING?" AND THE BLONDE SAYS "YES.. ANYTHING!" WITH THAT, THE MAN SAYS "FOLLOW
ME."

HE WALKS INTO THE NEXT ROOM AND TELLS HER "COME IN AND CLOSE THE DOOR."..SHE DOES! HE THEN SAYS "GET ON YOUR KNEES."..SHE DOES! .. HE THEN SAYS TAKE DOWN MY ZIPPER."..SHE DOES! ... HE THEN SAYS "GO AHEAD... TAKE IT OUT." WITH THAT, SHE TAKES IT OUT AND TAKES HOLD OF IT WITH BOTH HANDS! THE MAN THEN SAYS "WELL.. GO AHEAD!"... SHE BRINGS HER MOUTH CLOSER TO IT, AND WHILE HOLDING IT CLOSE TO HER LIPS.. SHE SAYS "HELLO, MOM???? CAN YOU HEAR ME???"